Lost Without You
by ScarredSilver
Summary: When you've lost your family, your loyal dog, and now the one man you ever loved, what would you do? Summary and title sucks... ZexionXOc


**I made another oneshot! :D**

**...I need to really stop that and work on those stupid chapter stories I've conjured up DX  
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**oh well...  
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**Review if you like it please :3**

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The keyblader sat at the bar, staring blankly into her half empty cup of whatever intoxicated liquid the bartender had put in it before handing it to her. She was already pretty far gone, having had about a dozen other glasses before hand, but she could still remember everything. "Itami, I really think you need to go home." the man behind the counter said. Itami just blinked and jerked her head once, saying no in a low mumble that he could hardly hear. She was going to stay until she forgot, or until they had to forcibly remove her like the last few times. The girl had been coming for about a month every other day to the bar to get drunk and forget about the nobody who she loved that was murdered. The more she came the more she needed to drink in order to get thoroughly drunk, not that it did her much good. Her reasoning for going to the bar was to forget about the nobody but once she was wasted he was all she thought about. She had started hallucinating, nearly everyone she would see on her way back to castle oblivion would resemble him and she would think he came back, as foolish as it sounds. Another more secret reasoning was that she was trying to intoxicate herself to the point where she just wouldn't wake up one morning. That would solve all her problems. She had more problems that she thought she could get rid of by drinking it away but his death was the trigger to her most recent behavior.

So there she sat, the middle stool at the bar, her half lidded eyes on the beverage in her cup. The keyblader tightened her grip on it as she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before tossing it back and finishing the rest of the liquid. Some of it didn't get in her mouth and was now on the corners of her mouth and dripping on her slate gray long sleeved shirt. But she was at the point where she didn't care about her shirt, or much aside from her dead love for that matter. "'N-nother one." Itami hiccupped, pushing the empty mug towards the bartender who just sighed and took it, knowing there was no use arguing with her. Almost two dozen more rounds of all sorts of poison later, she finally stumbled outside, using her key blade as a crutch because that's what she thought it was now. Some perfectly convenient tool that she had to stop her from falling, not that it's saved her from that much the previous times it was used as such. She wandered around the streets aimlessly, muttering to herself as she ignored the nobody look a likes she passed, knowing they were fake. Eventually she found an opened portal leading to the castle, her friend, Aki, usually setting them up for her, and she went through it.

Itami glanced around at the white walls, not really seeing anything, and started to walk down the hallway. She heard Larxene grumbling to herself in a room she passed but she hardly paid attention, keeping what attention she could muster ahead so she wouldn't trip over anything on her way to her destination. The blond nobody was supposedly reviving the others with Aki's help but Itami wasn't going to get her hopes up. It would just it make it all the more painful when she was told their objective had failed. Why should she torture herself like that? She felt bad for Aki, Marluxia was the nobody her friend loved, and they were trying to revive him too but Itami didn't want to tell Aki it was probably going to fail. Eventually, after about an hour of stumbling blindly through the many hallways, she found the room she wanted. She fumbled with the door knob for a moment before the door creaked open and she stumbled inside, falling onto the bed that still smelled like the nobody she loved even though he had been gone for a while. She heard her key blade fall to the ground with a thump but she didn't care. She just pulled the covers closer and held them tightly until she passed out from exhaustion and intoxication.

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"Itami." she heard someone calling her name and felt them shaking her shoulder. "Itami come on you can't sleep all day." the keyblader recognized the voice as Aki's and she slowly sat up, putting a hand on her head since it was now pounding from her hangover, while she kept the other tangled in the bed sheets. "Oh you smell like alcohol." Aki gagged and moved back slightly but Itami ignored her as she moved so her feet were over the edge. "Sorry sorry I didn't mean it in a rude way. Just go take a shower and brush your teeth okay?" Aki asked, sounding concerned, just like always. "Whatever…" Itami said quietly as she forced herself up, stumbling forward instantly and using the wall as support. Aki gasped in alarm and got up off the bed quickly to help her but she pushed her away. "I…don't need…help…" she grumbled and started to walk into the hallway. Aki frowned as she watched Itami and reached down, picking up the other girl's keyblade so she wouldn't forget it. Itami kept one hand on the wall and the other over her eyes, trying to block out the light so her head wouldn't ache as much. She soon found her way to her room and managed to get to her dresser, getting a change of clothes from it and then going back into the hall to find her way into the bathroom which didn't take quite as long since it was close to her room.

Nearly an hour later she came out of the bathroom in a black tank top that use to belong to the nobody she loved, having borrowed it from him when Axel ripped her usual slate gray long sleeved shirt so she could wear it while she fixed it. She had to find another pair of pants since her jeans smelled like alcohol so she was only wearing the tank top that went past what she needed to cover so she didn't think it really mattered since it was just her, Aki, and Larxene in the castle. She had her dirty clothes in her arms as she walked down the hall, finding the laundry room and putting them in the washing machine before leaving the room to find Aki and ask for a pair of pants. Itami put a hand to her head as it started aching again, the cold shower having only done so much, and suddenly stopped when she heard running down one of the nearby halls. Out of nowhere a blond nobody she instantly recognized rushed down the hallway, nearly running into her as the two hallways joined together. "Itami!" he shouted and hugged her squishing her against his chest and abdomen. She let out an alarmed gasp and tried to push him away. "D-Demyx?" she stammered and looked up at him to make sure it was him. It was.

"Of course it's me!" he exclaimed and let her go but didn't take his hands off her shoulders as he looked her over. "Whoa you feel skinnier! What the heck have you been doing? And…are you not wearing pants?" he asked the last part with a held back snicker which made her blush and knock his hands away before gripping the bottom of the tank top and pulling it farther down. "What if I'm not? You aren't the dress monitor." Itami narrowed her eyes at him, sure he was some hallucination caused by the alcohol she had the night before. "I was just asking!" he chuckled and looked down the hall again before continuing his running, shouting a good bye to the white haired girl as he rounded a corner and disappeared. She stared after him and kept her eyes in the direction he disappeared for a moment before groaning and covering her face, feeling sick all of a sudden for imagining her dead nobody friend. It was horrible when it was the one she loved but now it would be her friends too? "Itami!" she heard someone call her name and made herself look over, seeing it was Aki running up behind her.

"Itami did you…are you not wearing pants?" she asked as she looked down at her friend's legs. "No, I'm not." she answered and folded her arms as she leaned against the wall. "Can I borrow some again please?" she asked and her friend nodded with a cheerful smile and Itami couldn't help but think about what could have caused her to be so happy. Aki lead her to her room and opened it for her. It was still nice even if she stayed in Marluxia's room ever since he had died. Itami went to her dresser and dug through it for a pair of pants, finding some black ones and putting them on. "Come on let's go to the kitchen, you should really eat something." Aki said as she walked over and held out Itami's little keyblade to her. She took it with only a nod and wrapped the string around her wrist where it usually sat before following Aki out. Itami went over to one of the table chairs once in the kitchen and sat down before putting her head on the table, trying to get it to stop hurting as Aki went through the cabinets looking for something to make. "It's lunch time, so what do you want?" she asked and looked over to her friend who just shrugged, not lifting her head up. "Alright then I'm making sandwiches!" Aki declared, trying to cheer her friend up even more which Itami caught and moved her head so she was looking through her bangs at her suspiciously.

The keyblader watched as the former heartless made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the two of them, smiling the whole time and Itami thought she could hear her singing to herself but the pounding in her head distracted her for the most part. A plate was soon set down in front of her, making her lift her head finally to look at the sandwich. It was cut into a star. "What…the…" she trailed off as Aki sat down next to her, putting a glass of milk above her plate along with her own. "Isn't it cute?" Aki asked as she held up her own sandwich that was in the shape of a cat head. "…I guess…" Itami replied and looked back down at her sandwich, trying to figure out why her friend was in such a good mood because she never cut sandwiches into stars or cats or other cute shapes. She cast a glance at her and saw her eating so she figured they were okay to eat, not sure what her friend could have put in them, and started to eat hers. She couldn't really taste it, still having the alcohol taste in her mouth even though she had brushed her teeth around seven times. Itami figured if seeing Demyx was just another drunken hallucination then eating would absorb what ever was left of the intoxicated liquid in her stomach. Aki had practically shoved the sandwich in her mouth, making her finished faster than Itami, and stood up as she drank what was in her cup.

"I have to go back to helping Larxene, but I'll see you at dinner okay?" she said happily and Itami just looked at her, not really answering but Aki rushed off anyway, leaving the keyblader by herself at the table. A few seconds after Aki left Itami sighed and put her half eaten sandwich down, resting her head against the table. "Whoa this is really good!" a voice exclaimed, making Itami jump in surprise and sit up to see Demyx sitting across from her at the table eating the sandwich that she had put on the plate. "W-what?" she stammered, staring at him with wide eyes. "I said it's really good!" Demyx replied, his mouth full as he reached out for the glass of milk near the plate and drank some of it. "What's the matter Itami? You look like you've seen a ghost!" the blond chuckled and reached out to poke her but she jerked away. "Itami?" he blinked in surprise, seeing her get up but stumble over one of the legs of the chairs so she fell to the ground. Demyx quickly got up and went over to her to help her up but she moved away from him, giving him a glare that he normally would have laughed at but this time he didn't. "Itami what's wrong?" he asked, holding his hands up before stepping closer to her. "Don't come near me." she said coldly as she got to her feet. "What? Why?" he asked, sounding confused. "I know you're just some stupid hallucination thing conjured up by my stupid brain because it wont be normal and make me forget, it makes me remember him and now you!" she snapped and stepped back, soon putting her hands over her head as it started pounding again. "What are you talking about? Me? A hallucination?" Demyx blinked and stepped closer but she just shook her head and took off running out of the kitchen.

She didn't stop until she tripped over her own feet, landing on her hands and knees. She stayed on the ground trying to catch her breath and looked around, seeing she was in front of the library. The keyblader got up after a few moments and slowly opened the door, usually staying in the library when she wasn't in his room, her own room, or at the bar. Itami closed the door behind her and looked around at the shelves of books before heading towards the back where the couch was, seeing the stack of books that she left there the last few times she had come. She looked at them for a moment, seeing they weren't the book she was going to look for, and walked into the large maze of shelves. Almost half an hour later she came back to the couch and sat down, putting the large text book she grabbed in her lap. The keyblader opened it and started to look through the pages, trying to find something about the brain and what intoxication can cause. She knew the main things but she wanted to check if alcohol could make someone imagine their dead friends and actually talk and interact with them. A few hours later she felt someone shaking her shoulder and heard them calling her name, recognizing it as Aki like earlier. She opened her eyes and saw her friend standing over her, smiling still. "It's time for dinner Itami!" she said happily and she noticed it was dark in the library, showing it was probably around seven or eight in the evening.

"Come on it'll get cold!" she said and pulled her friend up off the couch, making the book that had been in her lap fall to the ground with a thud. Aki ignored it as she pulled Itami out of the library and down the hall, heading for the kitchen again like earlier. "Larxene's eating with us this time!" Aki said cheerfully and Itami just made a groan like noise to show she heard her. "And…" she started another sentence but stopped it along with walking to look down another hallway. "Oh! Hold on I'll be right back!" she said and let go of Itami's arm, running down the joining hallway until she was out of sight. The keyblader sighed and folded her arms, looking off towards where they had been walking, but tensed up when she saw Demyx walking down a side hallway farther down that passed in her line of vision singing while playing his sitar like he use to do. He stopped when he saw Itami and smiled at her but she quickly covered her eyes and shook her head quickly before running down the hallway Aki went down, going straight for her room where she slammed the door shut and leaned against it. She looked around her room for a moment before going over to the bed, seeing her clothes had been put on it. They were folded so she knew Aki did it, Larxene wouldn't be so nice even if she had taken them out of the washer. Itami quickly changed into her own clothes, putting the black tank top back in her dresser and leaving the pants she borrowed from Aki on the bed, and hurried to the door after making sure she had her keyblade. She made her way to the portal Aki kept open for her and went through it, finding herself in the town where the bar she normally went to was.

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"Marluxia you're back!" a voice cried happily, waking him up and causing him to slowly open his eyes. He noticed he was on a bed in one of castle oblivion's rooms. It took him a moment but he figured out who the voice belonged to. Aki, Itami's friend and the girl who loved Marluxia. "It's about time you woke up, Zexion." he heard Larxene scoff and he turned his head to look at her, seeing she looked tired but annoyed. "Get up so I can use the bed for Xemnas!" she snapped and the blue haired nobody stared at her for a moment before sitting up. "What's going on?" he asked, more to himself as he looked over and saw Aki hugging Marluxia who was also sitting up on the bed he was on. "You're alive again, not move!" Larxene huffed and waved a hand at Zexion who frowned with annoyance at seeing she wasn't going to be nice to him even if he had just been revived. He got up off the bed slowly, not wanting to fall if his legs were weak, but they weren't. "Wait." he said and looked to Larxene. "If Aki's here, where's Itami?" he asked and the blond nobody shrugged. "Probably out getting drunk again." she replied flatly like she didn't care and Zexion looked alarmed for a moment.

"She's doing what?" he asked, never having thought the keyblader would do such a thing. "She goes every other day, probably to try and kill herself or go into an intoxicated coma so she doesn't have to remember how she couldn't save you." Larxene replied, not so rudely now as she remembered what Aki had said when Itami first began disappearing to go to the bar. Zexion stared at her again before looking around for the door, wanting to go find the white haired girl he loved. "Which bar would she be at?" he asked, going towards the door as Larxene shrugged. "There are portals all over here, go through one. It'll take you to where she went." the blond nobody replied and Zexion hurried out of the room only to bump into Demyx. "Zexy you're awake!" he shouted and hugged him tightly, getting an annoyed groan from the shorter man as he tried to push him away. "Demyx let go! I need to find Itami!" he snapped and the blond released him. "She's acting weird! She thought I was some weird hallucination or something when I saw her yesterday!" Demyx said and rubbed his head as he remembered. Zexion just frowned even more, knowing it would be hard to show Itami it was really him now if she thought Demyx was just an illusion. "I'll explain why later. Have you seen a portal around here?" he asked and Demyx thought a moment before nodding. "Yeah, by your room!" he said and grinned, pointing the way. "Alright, thank you." he said and turned to leave but stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "What were you doing by my room?" he asked suspiciously but the blond just chuckled and turned, whistling as he walked away.

The blue haired nobody narrowed his eyes after him before running up a few flights of stairs to get to his room, stopping outside of it. He looked around for a moment before spotting the large purple and black portal and ran through it, not too concerned to where it was leading as long as it took him to Itami. Zexionw as hit with the smell of salt water as soon as he stepped out to the other side, seeing a large ship at the nearby docks that was next to a bar. He hurried towards it, pulling up his hood like he normally would while out of the castle, and nearly knocked the door down. The bar was loud but not too crowded, making him slightly relieved, and he saw her sitting at the counter with her head down and hands on a glass full of the intoxicating liquid she had grown accustomed to drinking. He walked over slowly, seeing she was just staring at the glass and not drinking it. She smelled like alcohol but not like she had been drinking it, having just been sitting in the same spot with the same glass of intoxicant since the night before. She had been debating on if it was better to see Demyx instead of Zexion, figuring either way she would be seeing her dead friends so it didn't matter anymore. "Itami, you should probably just go home." the bar tender said, glancing to Zexion as he came closer but said nothing. "I…I'm not going back…" she mumbled, planning to do something so she would never have to go back to castle oblivion, it was just a matter of planning it.

"You wont come back? Not even for me?" Zexion couldn't help but say as he stopped behind her, able to tell she had tensed up at hearing his voice. She hesitated before moving her hands away from the cup and turned the seat around slowly, her eyes widening at seeing the cloaked figure in front of her. Itami stared at him for a few seconds before sighing and putting a hand over her eyes and shaking her head. "You're not real…" she mumbled to herself, not moving her hand. Her usual drunken hallucinations had never spoken to her but since she could hear and feel Demyx who she thought was a hallucination now so why couldn't his Zexion be one too? "I'm not real?" he repeated and pulled his hood off so she could see him better before reaching forward and moving her hand away from her face, holding it in his own. "If I wasn't real could I touch you?" he asked, not getting the surprised reaction he wanted from her. "I read that someone can have very vivid imaginations, so touch wouldn't be unusual…" she said, not looking at him. Zexion frowned, knowing she was right, and cursed mentally at having so many books that she had access to so she could look things like that up. "Itami I'm right here." he said, more firmly this time as he used his free hand to grab her chin and make her look at him, the stool she was sitting on making her a head shorter than him instead of the same height which he was glad for.

"Yeah, in my sick, twisted, intoxicated mind." she growled, narrowing her green brown eyes at him as if challenging what she thought was an over active hallucination to argue with her. "Maybe you have had too much to drink while I've been gone, but you haven't had any since you've been here. I can smell your breath." Zexion replied, staying calm as he leaned closer. "You haven't had anything to drink for almost a day so you can't be intoxicated enough to hallucinate." Itami stayed quiet but kept her cold gaze on him, not believing him still but had no reply. "Tell me what to do to prove I'm here." he said after a few seconds, wanting her to hug him or something like Aki did to Marluxia. If he did it to her, it wouldn't be the same. She kept her gaze with his before biting her lip and jerking her chin out of his grip. "There's nothing you can do." she replied, not sounding hostile anymore but more sad. Zexion kept his eyes on her before looking behind him at the pirates sitting at a table, an idea coming to his mind. He glanced back at her before turning and headed over to them, the group of six quieting down as he stopped at the edge of their table. "Lookie here mates, a scrawny little lad!" one said, getting chortles from the other crew members. "Watcha want runt?" another asked and Zexion just looked down to the cups on the table, ignoring them. He picked one of the half full glass mugs up and looked at the yellow liquid inside it for a moment before holding it up and smashing it over the closest pirate's head. Most likely not a very wise choice considering the one now covered in beer was the one with most muscles.

"You scrawny runt! You'll PAY for that!" he roared and got up, the other crew members pulling out swords to fight the nobody too. Zexion just smirked and held up his hand like he would have been holding his lexicon but he blinked and frowned, realizing Larxene must have it back in the castle. Zexion quickly stepped back, going to attempt to run back to the counter, but bumped into another set of pirates most likely from the same crew but at a different table. They all had their swords drawn and ready to swipe at the blue haired nobody until Itami ran in front of him, standing between him and the pirates with her keyblade raised. "Just try it you seadogs!" she snapped violently and swung at the closest pirate, knocking his sword from his hand. "Oh so this lassie thinks she can fight us eh?" one pirate sneered and moved closer. "We should teach her a woman's place." another chuckled and Itami glared at them. "You wanna try you drunken load of hounds?" she growled and stepped closer to the ones who were snickering. "What a confident lass you are, such a shame we can't get to know each other more." the one who looked like the captain said as he held his sword up and came closer to Itami and Zexion who could only watch.

Itami narrowed her eyes at him and as he swiped at her she blocked it with her keyblade, knocking it out of his grip so it clattered off under one of the tables. The captain stared at her in shock before snapping an order for the others to attack her. She quickly pushed Zexion back towards the counter where the bartender was washing mugs, ignoring the fight as it went on. "Aren't you going to do something?" the blue haired nobody asked, looking to him. "Nah, Itami can send them packing. I don't appreciate how they treat my floor as their spitting target." the bartender replied with a chuckle and Zexion blinked and turned back to see the fight, noticing Itami had stopped swinging and only one pirate was standing and trembling in fear while the others were groaning on the ground. "You have five seconds to get out." she growled and looked at them all. "Now!" she snapped and they all started to scramble for the door. The keyblader watched them leave, her keyblade growing back to it's charm size so it hung around her wrist, and then turned back to the counter before heading towards it, her head down. Zexion took a step towards her as he noticed she was crying and she started to walk faster towards him until she was nearly running and then jumped at him, hugging him around the neck so she was crying into the crook of his neck.

Zexion couldn't help but smile as he put his arms around her, seeing his plan to get the pirates to notice him to prove she wasn't imagining him had worked perfectly aside from the fact he couldn't fight them off himself. "See? You aren't imagining me." he said soothingly as he tightened his grip on her, not wanting to let her go. "I-I missed you…" she sobbed, not letting him go. "I-I never thought I-I'd see you a-again…" "I'm not going away again Itami." Zexion said and she finally let him go so she could lean back and look at him. The nobody put her back down on the ground but didn't take his arms from around her, keeping her close even if it wasn't as close as he would have liked. "I'll make sure you don't." she replied, smiling slightly as he used one hand to wipe the tears from her face. Zexion's smile grew slightly before he rested his hand on the side of her face and pulled her closer, leaning forward and kissing her. He kept his lips on hers for as long as he could before having to breath and pulled back slightly but kept his mouth within inches of hers as he whispered smugly "Good." and kissed her again.

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**...Oh I'm so embarrassed by that ending...**

**But oh well. So just to clear things up Itami was going to kill herself so the supposed lifelike hallucinations of her previously dead friends would stop so she wouldn't feel so guilty about not being able to save them...especially Zexion.  
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End file.
